Relationship Calculator
Assess your partnership across six science-backed dimensions — Trust, Communication, Intimacy, Conflict Resolution, Shared Vision, and Independence — to generate your Relationship Health Index with a dynamic radar chart.
Rate Each Dimension
Score each aspect of your relationship from 1 (very poor) to 10 (exceptional)
Relationship Health Index
Weighted composite score across all six dimensions
Dimension Radar Chart
Visual representation of your relationship's strengths and areas for growth.
Actionable Recommendations
Evidence-based suggestions for your lowest-scoring dimensions.
A Relationship Calculator transforms the subjective experience of partnership into a structured, measurable health assessment. Grounded in over four decades of relationship science — from John Gottman's longitudinal studies at the University of Washington to Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) framework — the six dimensions measured here represent the core pillars that distinguish thriving relationships from those at risk of dissolution.
Trust & Security, weighted highest at 20%, reflects Bowlby's Attachment Theory and Gottman's research showing that perceived reliability and emotional safety form the bedrock of all other relational dynamics. Communication Quality (18%) captures the balance of self-expression and active listening — the skill that Gottman identified as the single strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction in his 14-year longitudinal study of 677 couples.
The Relationship Health Index employs a floor-penalty mechanism: if any dimension scores below 4 out of 10, the overall RHI is reduced by a multiplicative penalty factor. This reflects the empirical finding that relationships can tolerate moderate weakness in one area if other dimensions compensate, but a severely deficient dimension — particularly Trust or Communication — tends to erode the entire system. Gottman's research on the "Four Horsemen" (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) shows that even one persistent negative pattern can predict divorce with 93% accuracy.
The radar chart provides an instant visual fingerprint of your relationship's shape. A balanced hexagon suggests even development across all dimensions, while a lopsided shape reveals exactly where focused effort would yield the highest return. Couples therapists routinely use similar visual profiles — such as the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment — to guide treatment planning and track progress over time.
Relationship Calculator FAQ
How relationship health is measured and what your scores mean.
What does the Relationship Calculator measure?
The Relationship Calculator assesses your partnership across six core dimensions of relational health: Trust & Security, Communication Quality, Emotional & Physical Intimacy, Conflict Resolution Skills, Shared Vision & Goals, and Independence Balance. Each dimension is rated 1-10 by both partners, and the scores are combined into a weighted Relationship Health Index (RHI) from 0 to 100.
How is the Relationship Health Index (RHI) calculated?
The RHI uses a weighted composite formula. Trust carries the highest weight (20%), followed by Communication (18%), Intimacy (17%), Conflict Resolution (17%), Shared Vision (15%), and Independence (13%). A penalty factor applies if any dimension scores below 4 out of 10, reflecting the Gottman Institute's finding that a single severely deficient area can undermine overall relationship quality regardless of other strengths.
What do the relationship tiers mean?
Thriving (85-100): Exceptional across all dimensions with deep mutual investment. Healthy (70-84): Strong foundation with room for growth in 1-2 areas. Needs Attention (50-69): Several dimensions require active work; counseling may help. At Risk (30-49): Multiple critical gaps exist; professional intervention recommended. Critical (0-29): Fundamental relational needs are unmet; urgent action needed.
Is this calculator scientifically validated?
The six dimensions are derived from established relationship science: Gottman's Sound Relationship House theory (trust, conflict management), Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love (intimacy, commitment), and Bowlby's Attachment Theory (security, independence). While the tool itself is not a clinical assessment, it reflects the same constructs measured by validated instruments like the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS) and Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS).
How accurate is a self-reported relationship assessment?
Self-report measures are the standard in relationship science because subjective experience IS the relationship — your perception of trust matters as much as 'objective' trust. However, research shows a positivity bias: people in relationships tend to rate themselves ~10-15% higher than neutral observers would. For best results, have both partners complete the assessment independently and compare scores.
What should I do if my score is low?
A low score is diagnostic, not deterministic. The radar chart reveals which specific dimensions need attention. Evidence-based approaches include: for Trust — Gottman's 'Trust Revival' exercises; for Communication — Nonviolent Communication (NVC) training; for Conflict — learning the 'repair attempt' technique; for Intimacy — scheduled quality time and emotional check-ins. Couples therapy with a Gottman-certified therapist can address multiple dimensions simultaneously.
Can this calculator predict breakups?
No single tool can predict relationship outcomes with certainty. However, the dimensions measured — particularly the ratio of positive to negative interactions (Gottman's 5:1 ratio), presence of contempt (the #1 predictor of divorce), and shared future vision — are the same constructs that longitudinal research has linked to relationship longevity. A consistently low RHI across multiple assessments over time is more informative than a single snapshot.